The following is a brief letter to Avery’s future husband…Perhaps I’ll pass it along to him on their wedding day…
While it’s true I don’t know your name as I write this (Avery is about to turn 6), I have already been praying for you. I have been praying for God’s hand to be on your life in a powerful way. I am excited for you to step into a new season of life with Avery, and I thought I would offer a little insight into the tremendous gift God is about to give you in marriage.
I still have plenty to learn about marriage myself—I think we should always be learning—but I have learned quite a bit about Avery that I think may be helpful to you. She has a lot of similar characteristics as her mom, Ashley. Trust me that this is a very good thing, but man-to-man I want to give you a heads up on what may be coming your way based on their similarities.
First, I have come to believe that there is a direct correlation between the amount of money a woman spends and the amount of time she spends watching HGTV. This has especially been true in the Jenkins’ house. She’s not watching the home improvement show for entertainment, she’s looking for new ideas—ideas that will eventually appear in your living room. Here’s the progression: 1. She’ll see it on HGTV. 2. She’ll pin it on PINTEREST 3. You’ll be helping her with the new project. 4. Repeat.
It’s also been clear that Avery and Ashley share a love for fashion. Don’t waste your time trying to buy her clothes. She’ll end up returning them and politely telling you they didn’t fit quite right. There are few things a man can’t eventually conquer, but learning how to pick out clothes for a woman is an unscalable mountain. Just give her money and let her shop.
While you shouldn’t attempt to buy her clothes, you should allow her to buy them for you. Don’t throw away your camoflauge, but don’t fight the inevitability that over the years most of your clothing options will eventually reflect her tastes. It’s part of marriage.
Ashley and Avery also share an adventurous spirit. They want to take on new challenges and live life to the fullest. Feed this part of her soul. Encourage her to take risks and step fully into the story God is telling. I’m confident she’ll do the same for you.
Fight the temptation to become lazy in marriage. As the years pass, you’ll become quite familiar with each other. Life may feel mundane and boring at times, but don’t look for excitement outside the boundaries of your marriage. One of God’s greatest gifts to you will be found in the deeper regions of Avery’s heart. Her heart is a deep well of mystery and beauty. Love her well and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll discover. It’s anything but mundane and boring.
Lastly, a wise man once told me the greatest gift a man could offer his wife is the fruit of the Spirit. The closer you draw to the Lord, the more you’ll reflect His nature to Avery. Ultimately, I believe this is what it’s all about. We were created in the image of God, and one of our primary points of purpose is to bear His image in our world. What greater opportunity to do this than in the context of marriage?
From this day forward, you are now the most important man in Avery’s life. As her father, I willingly step aside and trust that you’ll love my daughter well. As important as she is to me, she’s even more important to the Heavenly Father. My prayer is that when it’s all said and done, you and I both will be able to tell the Heavenly Father that we loved His daughter well.